I want to die right now, please.

When I go to Heaven Rosario Dawson and I will host many fine dinner parties. This is where I write about those dinner parties.

With myself. And Rosario Dawson. And you. And angels.

I cannot wait to die.

Rosario Dawson Loves Me is the result of one horrible breakup and a small ocean of whiskey. Each issue is approximately 15,000 words long (complete with swell pictures of clouds and Rosario Dawson) and available for purchase, for the staggering price of $3.00, at Quimby's bookstore in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood, or from me, wherever I might be.
My name is Justin Valmassoi. I write it.

My other really fantastic, totally not insipid and borderline retarded 'zine is HERE.

You look very pretty today.