I want to die right now, please.

When I go to Heaven Rosario Dawson and I will host many fine dinner parties. This is where I write about those dinner parties.

With myself. And Rosario Dawson. And you. And angels.

I cannot wait to die.

Rosario Dawson Loves Me is the result of one horrible breakup and a small ocean of whiskey. Each issue is approximately 15,000 words long (complete with swell pictures of clouds and Rosario Dawson) and available for purchase, for the staggering price of $3.00, at Quimby's bookstore in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood, or from me, wherever I might be.
My name is Justin Valmassoi. I write it.

My other really fantastic, totally not insipid and borderline retarded 'zine is HERE.

You look very pretty today.

INFO / PURCHASE

September122009

cakebeef:

Goin’ to Heeeeeaven, gonna see my giirrrrrlfriiieeend.
I’ll be all like, hey Rosario Daaaaawson and she’ll say hi Juuuustin.
Then we’ll make a baaaaby. Mmm hm. Baby baby baby. Rosario oh oh.

[As you can see, I am also, aside from being a hunky scientist, a cake of beef and a swell cook, quite the accomplished little songwriter on the side. If you need a jingle or a catchy little tune, drop me a line and we’ll work something out.]

Goin’ to Heeeeeaven, gonna see my giirrrrrlfriiieeend.

I’ll be all like, hey Rosario Daaaaawson and she’ll say hi Juuuustin.

Then we’ll make a baaaaby. Mmm hm. Baby baby baby. Rosario oh oh.

[As you can see, I am also, aside from being a hunky scientist, a cake of beef and a swell cook, quite the accomplished little songwriter on the side. If you need a jingle or a catchy little tune, drop me a line and we’ll work something out.]

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